Saturday 11th June 2016 (9.24am)
3/10 – I was awake most of the night and therefore did not get up as planned for swimming or gyming. Instead I have ended up at Coffee #1 to see if I can clear my head. I am feeling angry and I am not sure what about exactly. I have this feeling of annoyance and frustration and I don’t know what to do with it. I want to take the anger out on myself and when I have felt like this previously I have driven off in the car as if to go and hide and harm myself. I would describe this feeling as a ‘body take over’ which I cannot control. When I then calm down I can’t believe how I was.
It is lovey and quiet here this morning, people are relaxing and reading the Saturday papers. I love Penarth and nearly moved here once but got more for my money where I am now. Maybe one day? If I had not have moved to where I am then I would not have met ‘A’ and therefore I would not have had 10 great years. Things are sent to test us, build us and make us stronger. I do feel like I am getting stronger and getting more used to being apart, that is not to say that it is easy – far from it.
Sitting in Costa with an orange juice, trying to work out what I want to wear for my up and coming triathlon. Dilemma of a Pro athlete eh?!