Difficult conversations

Thursday 31st August 2017 (11.31am)

I am not quite sure where to start today as I feel that so much has happened in the last 20 hours.

At 3pm yesterday I was called in to see management for a ‘welfare’ catch up and to see how I was after leaving work early last Friday.

For professional reasons I will not disclose what was said in detail. In short, I was asked if I was fit for work and if so, then could I work 5 days per week from next Monday? If not fit for work …. then? This completely threw me, whilst I was doing my best to be in work 3 days a week as agreed, I said that at the moment moving to 5 would be detrimental to my mental health, yet I would do as asked for operational requirements (as that is the way I am). I was also up for compromise and flexibility.

For those of you who follow my blog you will get exactly where my head is and where I am in terms of my mental stability. In the last week alone there have been thoughts of self harm, there have been difficult times, I have struggled in work and I have had to leave work early.

Am I ready to work 5 days with more demand?

I have seen my GP this morning and explained that whilst I was prepared to work and did not want to go off sick I was feeling unsettled and anxious. Being in work for 3 days is hard but is helping me to integrate back in. I did not sleep much last night and I woke up at 3am thinking and worrying about working 5 days per week.